The Secret Meaning of French Toast
by high-off-music
Summary: The flaming red head with the bright emerald eyes, who would glance over at me when he thought I wasn't looking and just smile, the one who made my heart beat faster when it was just us two alone, the one I was unequivocally in love with...
1. Chapter 1

I had intended this to just be a random little fluffy one-shot I wrote while having writers block with a different Axel/Roxas story of mine, but i've decieded to continue it for a little longer! hope you like this one, please review!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any Kingdom hearts characters

I learned a long time ago a lesson about love that would retain meaning and importance in my life for various reasons. The main reason, though, would always be that flaming red head with the bright emerald eyes, the one who would glance over at me when he thought I wasn't looking and just smile, the one who made my heart beat faster when it was just us too alone, the one I was unequivocally in love with.

His name was Axel. Just let that name sink in for a minute. It seems exotic and unique at first glance, and all glances after that, even though it's only four letters. Like Axel himself, the name has a sense of mysteriousness, almost an underlying feeling of dangerousness, just like Axel. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not really one to fall for the tall, dark, mysterious, and handsome men. In fact, I'm not really one to fall in love with men to begin with, but Axel was different. Axel was the butter to my bread, the sunshine to my day; he was the one that made my life enjoyable and added that much needed boost of happiness. It didn't matter to me that he was a guy; all that mattered was that I loved him, and if I was lucky, he loved me too.

But wait; let me jump back to reality for a second. Axel was most definitely not into me. He liked the whole blond hair blue eyes thing, but with someone who had curves and a nice rack. Sure, Axel could be a pig some of the time and was known far and wide as some sort of legendary sex fiend, but to me he was the Axel most people never got to see.

To me, Axel was the guy that had the biggest and happiest smile in the world, rivaled only by my hyperactive brunette cousin. Axel was the guy who could make me laugh no matter what, who could make the best French toast this side of the universe, and who's favorite way to kill time was watching Spanish soap operas without the subtitles and make up his own plot. He was also amazingly sweet and kind, but feared that any relationship he got into would get to serious to fast, which was why he was currently untaken. Axel had his darker side too, just like everyone else. He could rip you a new one in the blink of an eye if you insulted him, had a temper that could ignite into a forest fire after just a spark set him off, and was the biggest smart-ass I knew, but all those things made up the Axel I knew and loved. I had my good days and my bad days too, which was why I was always careful not to judge someone until I got to know them, my golden rule for life.

Axel and I were living together as roommates. We had been struggling with rent and student loans after college when we lived on our own so Axel had had the brilliant idea for us to move in together, innocently naïve to the fact that this made it harder on me not to snap on a daily basis. The way he would run around the apartment on Mondays, late for work as usual, with no shirt on and his hair all messy and chaotic, the way he insisted on cooking me French toast every Saturday morning, the way he would fall asleep when we were watching T.V. late at night and look so cute, with his feet propped up on my lap cause he was always insisted on stretching out on the only couch and was just so damn tall. Those were just a few of the things he did that drove me crazier than usual. Those, in their entirety, were all things that Axel did that drove me crazy in a good way, but there were also things that Axel did that made me want to shrivel up into a ball in the corner they made me hurt so much.

The way he talked about me to someone on the phone or a friend who was over when he didn't think I was listening made a pain in my heart grow stronger and hurt deeper. 'Oh yeah,' he'd say, shrugging off the question of who his roommate was. 'Just this friend, it's no big deal. I can't wait to get a place of my own.' Some times, when he talked like this, I wanted to burst out of my room and just tell him to fuck off then, if I was no big deal to him, if he wanted to leave so bad, he should just do it already, but I could never do that to Axel. That wasn't as bad, though, as what he did ever Friday night without fail. A different girl every time, normally a blond, with blue eyes, who was short and skinny and innocent looking. It was like staring in a mirror some nights when I saw them walk in, just instead of seeing myself as a guy I saw what I would look like as a girl. That, by far, was the most insulting thing about Axel's sex life. Was he trying to mock me, trying to make me feel hurt and angry all at the same time, or was he really that dense that he couldn't see the longing I had, even though it was buried deep down beneath the surface of my being, raising it's obvious head every now and again. Yet Axel still brought these girls home, and I could still hear them every night through our paper-thin walls. And in a weird way, these thin walls were what finally made the truth come out, because of something truly shocking I heard through the walls.

On that particular night I had heard them at it for a while, and my ipod had died so I had no way to protect my ears from those stomach-turning sounds. I flipped over away from Axel's room, a pillow over my head, hearing now how they were almost done. And that's when I heard my name.

"Nnn- Roxas!" It was none other than my wonderful Axel that cried out my name, and I was about to go see what he wanted when it finally hit me. They had been having sex, they were almost done, Axel shouted out my name, and then they were quiet. Oh. My. God. Axel had shouted out my name, while he was having sex, with a girl who looked just like me. My head was spinning as I quickly sat up in bed, trying to figure out if what I had heard was true, but then I heard them talking.

"Who's Roxas?" Her voice was tired and slurred, but I could still make it out.

"N-no one, it's n-not important." I had never heard Axel stutter in all our years of being friends.

"I think it is… I think he is." She paused. This girl, in a weird was, was different from all the others. She actually wanted to talk after sex, about Axel, not herself. "Why do you do this then, sleep around, when you're obviously pretty hung up in this Roxas fellow?"

"Just drop it… what's your name again?"

"It's Naminé, and fine, if you're going to let it eat away at you until you crack, then fine. I was just trying to help." I heard the bed move and the rustling of clothes.

"Hey, wait up, come on Naminé." I heard Axel get out of bed and pull on some clothing, but by the time he walked past my room to the doorway the girl was long gone. I heard him sigh and walk back towards his room, not even trying to go after her. I quickly lay back down, turning away from my door, trying to pretend I had been sleeping the whole time. Axel's steps were slow and heavy as he passed by my doorway, but when he stopped and I heard him turn back around my breath hitched in my throat as I sensed him standing in my doorway. "Roxas?" I stayed still and quiet, not wanting him to know I was awake and had heard everything that had happened. He let out another sigh and walked over, sitting down slowly and gently on the end of my bed.

"Roxas, are you awake?" There was still silence from my end of the bed. "Man… I don't think you understand how confused I am Roxas." I wanted to sit up and tell him that was a lie, I knew how he felt. "You're my best friend Rox, I shouldn't feel this way about you, but the weird thing is it just feels so natural." It was taking all my will power not to say anything, to not spring up and jump into his arms and tell him I loved him. He was whispering, and out of the corner of my eye I could see him sitting on the bed with his hands in his long hair, leaning forward and hunched over. "Roxas…" His voice was almost pleading with me, begging me to help him figure out his life, but I still couldn't move. I just didn't know the right words to tell him yet.

I couldn't see the tears running down his face, but I could hear the sniffling and one sad, quiet sob that escaped his beautiful lips. I had never had anyone care this much about me before, and the fact that it was Axel made it all the more unbelievable. Before I knew it, Axel got up and slowly walked out of my room after whispering goodnight to me. I didn't sleep that night. How could I, with all the thoughts in my head.

I knew the next day he would get up extra early and make me French toast, his silent apology for having a girl over the night before. I knew that I would have to pretend that I had never heard the things that Axel told me last night, but that was ok. Like usual, I knew we wouldn't say anything as we ate our breakfast, and I knew what casual words we would exchange would hold no true emotional value. However, I knew tomorrow would be different in a way too, because I knew that tomorrow the silence and the act of him making me breakfast would mean something different, all because of one simple fact. It was a fact about love I had learned a long time ago that always brought me back to Axel.

_Love doesn't need words, but they're nice,_

_Love doesn't need action, but that's nice too._

_Love is just a presence, you can't see it, hear it, or touch it, _

_But you always know it's there._

Hope you all liked it, please review and tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to my wonderful reviewers because without you this story wouldn't have kept going. I love this story more as a multi-chapter story anyways! Please keep reviewing they motivate me so much! Enjoy!

You know that awkwardness that's always present when someone knows something about another person, but said person is blissfully unaware? Add a heaping serving of that, plus a plate of the worlds best French toast, and a flaming red head, and you had my morning.

We never talked about the girls that Axel had in his room, because not only would that have been incredibly awkward but we also both shared the common knowledge that I wasn't an idiot and could put two and two together every Friday night. Truth be told, I had never really had a burning desire to talk about these girls either, except for today, but I knew that topic was off limits. If I told Axel what I had heard through my wall he would know I had heard what he told me last night in my room, and that would just be a recipe for disaster. Unlike the recipe for this French toast, which I was systematically devouring like some kind of wild animal. I stopped my feeding frenzy for a moment to down some of my orange juice when I looked up and saw Axel staring at me with a smile plastered on his face, and when he noticed me looking at him he laughed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to make enough French toast to feed a wild animal this morning."

"Shmuf ump." I mumbled as I shoved another piece of heaven into my mouth.

"Wait, what was that? I can't understand you when you're shoving like eight pieces of toast into your mouth." I glared at him playfully while I swallowed.

"It was only one piece, and I told you to shut up." He laughed.

"Oh, silly me, I had thought that maybe, just maybe, you were saying something like 'Oh thank you Axel for making me breakfast because you're the best roommate ever.'"

"Yeah, cause I'm definitely the kind of person who would say something like that. I think you need to get your hearing checked man." I was shoveling down the last of my breakfast as Axel stood up and grabbed his coat.

"I gotta head out for some stupid work meeting. I mean, on a Saturday morning? This is crap. Anyways, see you later, Roxas." The door shut after I waved him a goodbye, French toast still left on my plate. I stuck my fork into the last piece and was about to shovel it into my mouth when I paused. Suddenly, with Axel gone, my breakfast didn't taste nearly as good as it had been. I put my fork back down on my plate, slowing chewing the last of my breakfast and realizing I had to force myself to swallow the rest of it.

How was it possible for me to just keep acting so natural around him? He had confessed to me, unknowingly of course, the skeletons in his closet and how he really felt about me, and now, not more than a few hours after the incident I has happily consuming my own body weight in French toast, made as a silent peace offering for Axel's escapades the night before. I sighed and walked over to the sink as I shoved the rest of my breakfast in the garbage and washed off my plate. And the worst part was, I knew that this breakfast meant more than just 'sorry about my one night stand that probably kept you up all night' and meant more along the lines of 'I actually do this cause I care about you a lot, but I didn't let on about it.' I knew I should come clean to Axel, tell him the truth about what I had heard, and just be honest and tell him I felt the same way.

But of course, things are never that simple. I was an anxiety freak. On so many occasions I got myself so worked up about things that breathing was all that I could manage on my own. Just thinking about Axel made me freak out. What if he denied ever telling me those things? What if he had just been drunk, and those weren't his really feelings? I took a deep breath, bracing myself on the counter and looking out the window over our sink. For starters, I knew deep down inside that what Axel told me was the raw uncut truth. Axel never cried, even when completely 100% drunk, especially not about a relationship, and he rarely ever did anything to show how much he cared about someone, even as just a friend. As I stared out the window, my mind wandered back to that fact about love I had learned about my whole life. Even though Axel never said anything or did anything other than make me breakfast once a week, I knew that for some reason he still did care about me, even love me in a weird Axel kind of way. And even though I never told him anything or did anything for him, I loved him back.

I sighed and walked over towards my room, but for some reason I didn't stop at my doorway but walked farther towards the next door on the right. Leaning against the doorframe I peered into Axel's room. It was shockingly clean and pretty organized, except for the unmade bed and the papers piled up on his desk. My gaze lingered on the bed, thinking back to ever girl I had ever seen walk by my room and into this one; into that bed. I used to wonder what it would be like to be one of those girls, to hold Axel's gaze and to be wanted by him, even if only for one night. But soon, after there had been more girls than I could count, I realized I never wanted to be in there shoes even once. I knew I wanted, and needed, more than just a one night stand from Axel, or I'd break.

Then I realized something. Even though I knew Axel cared about me because he told me, he actually did something nice for me every week that showed me he cared about my feelings and felt bad for what he did, showing he cared about me. What the heck did I do for him except eat his French toast and not bring up all those girls? I decided that needed to change.

Axel didn't get home from work until late afternoon, and he was pissed about it. I could tell from the way he stomped in and shut the door a little harder than usual, but I couldn't blame him for being ticked about working on the weekend, a Saturday no less.

"Damn boss thinks he can just drag me into work whenever he feels like it, well that's just plain-" I was laying on my bed reading when Axel walked in the kitchen, and I wished I could have seen his expression, but I acted natural and stayed where I was. I heard him walk down the hall and stop in front of my room.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" I tried not the smile like crazy when I looked over to see him propped up against my doorframe with a grin spread out across his face. "Or is that Chicken Parmesan from Rocco's down the street? Otherwise known as my favorite meal in the history of forever." I shrugged and turned back to my book.

"It could quite possibly be." I replied casual, but my smile giving me away.

"And just why is that meal sent straight from heaven sitting on the counter with my name sticky noted next to it?"

"Well you made me the best French toast ever as usual, and I figured 'hey, Axel probably had a hard day at work, why not put him in a better mood?'" I turned back again to see Axel's grin change into a toothy smile, that famous smile I loved so much.

"You're all right Roxas, you know that? I couldn't ask for a better best friend." And with that he turned away back towards the kitchen, intent on devouring that meal in the same fashion that I had eaten my breakfast hours before. I smiled and turned back to my book, until I realized I had no real drive to keep reading. Instead I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep listening to the TV in the other room as Axel ate his dinner. I was content finally, because now Axel knew I cared about him too, and his words kept echoing around my head.

_You're all right Roxas, you know that? I couldn't ask for a better best friend._

Neither could I.


	3. Chapter 3

I had sooo much fun with this chapter, I hope it shows! Please tell me what you think and review. Enjoy!

To me, Friday night was the new Monday morning. It came too quickly and made me drag my feet through the whole day as if I could prolong the evening, which unfortunately I could not. My job didn't help either.

As an English major I had always envisioned myself as some kind of famous author or chief editor at some high end publishing company, but where was I now? Working as an assistant at a place that edited law books. Law. Books. In case editing couldn't get boring enough, someone thought up 'hey, let's throw one of the driest and dullest subjects for reading ever into a book and let sick some poor sucker to stare at it all day on a computer screen from 1999.' But the worst part for me was that I wasn't even qualified to read those books yet; all I could do was assist the guy reading them and let me tell you that is definitely not my cup of tea. However, it paid pretty decently and it was the best I could get out of college, so I was stuck.

The rest of my day after work hadn't been so swell either. I got caught in horrible traffic on the way home and was an hour later than usual, spilled coffee on my shirt when some jerk honked his horn at me, and on my way up to the apartment I dropped my folder. I watched the papers fly around the hallway with a look that read 'really now?' and for a moment I stood there, disheartened. This day had sucked, and what was I going home to? Reheated leftovers for dinner, more papers to fill out that I didn't get a chance to at work, and the piece de resistance: Axel and his woman of the night getting in on next door. When the last piece of paper floated down to the ground I sluggishly walked over and began collecting them one by one. I as halfway done when I reached down for a paper by the stairway and was met by a pair of lanky legs and a hand reaching down to my level holding out a small stack of papers that had made their way down the stairway.

"Axel!" I stood up quickly after taking the papers out of his hand, his hair a bit spikier than usual, his green eyes shining, and that goofy grin spread out on his face.

"Nice to see you too!" He fished his keys out of his pocket and opened the door while haphazardly throwing his briefcase inside. It didn't seem to bother him as it clunked on the hardwood floor and clicked open, and I could see its own contents spilling out across the floor. But still he went unfazed as he continued to help me pick up the casualties from my troubles with my folder. "So." He handed me the papers he had gathered as we walked inside. Axel kicked the briefcase and his papers into the corner of the entranceway, and I gave him a small smile and a little laugh seeing as it was all I could genuinely produce. Normally my days were never this bad, or at least I never let them get to me this much, but everything had changed since that one night, especially since it was the first Friday since then.

"So…" I replied as I piled my papers up on the counter and headed for the fridge. As I had suspected, there was very little choice, and what was available made my stomach turn unpleasantly.

"Any plans for the evening?" I looked up from the fridge confused. Axel had given up months ago with trying to get me to go out to some club or bar with him, why was he asking now?

"No," I replied hesitantly as I closed the fridge. "I've got some papers to finish up for work and I'll probably watch a movie or something, nothing really exciting. Why?"

"Oh, n-no reason really. Just curious." And then he disappeared down the hallway into his room. I studied the place by the counter he had disappeared from before walking over and collecting my papers with a heavy sigh and heading for my room. Axel had stuttered again, which was just so weird for him. He was always so composed and in control he never stuttered or tripped over his words. I heard him about ten minutes later when the door shut, even though I could tell he had tried to do it quietly. "Oh Axel, you'll never change." I whispered to myself as I finished with one paper.

After about 10 pages of the 40 I had to do I gave up and headed for the kitchen. I scrounged together enough supplies to make a grilled cheese sandwich or three, since it had been a long day, and plopped down on the couch in front of the T.V. I killed two hours watching some confusing yet entertaining foreign film that Axel had bought a while ago and never bothered to watch, and ended up dozing off for a few minutes while a marathon of Scrubs was on.

I woke up a little while later to the sound of Axel's key in the door. Sleepily I sat up a tad and looked at the clock. 10:53 blared back at me in red digital numbers. That was weird. Axel was never home this early. I sat up all the way and watched Axel stumble around in the dark trying to find the light switch. "Axel?" I called out to him just as he turned on the light.

"Holy shit!" He spun around with wide eyes and one hand clutched to his chest. "Geez you nearly gave me a heart attack Roxas!"

"Sorry, I didn't know you were so jumpy. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. "And can you turn off that light? It's too bright."

"Sorry, I didn't think you'd still be up." He flicked the light switch off and walked over to the couch.

"It's only 11 Ax, I'm not that big of a nerd on Friday nights." He laughed and sat down with a heavy thud on the couch as he stretched out so his legs were resting in my lap. I was glad it was dark, except for the light from the TV, because I could feel myself blushing.

"My bad my bad." He smiled at me and I felt my blush spread.

"So, why are you home so early?" And alone, but I decided to leave that part out. His smile fell a little as he turned away from me and towards the TV, pretending to be interested in whatever was on.

"I dunno really, I guess I just wasn't in a partying mood tonight. Too much on my mind." I looked over at him, the light from the TV catching in his eyes as he continued to look at the screen.

"Well," I started nervously, "Like what?"

"A lot I guess. People in general, this one in particular especially." He chanced a glance over at me, but when he saw me looking at him he looked quickly in to the kitchen to disguise his side-glance.

"Do I know this person?" Wow, I was such a manipulative person, but Axel just smiled slightly and I pretended not to notice.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"What are they like?" I knew Axel knew I knew, but we just kept it going, no one sure of what to do to take things to the next step.

"Well, they're funny, smart, aren't too great at cooking unlike myself," He smirked, "and the most important thing is they're blond." What a jerk. "You know I've always had a thing for blondes."

We sat there for a moment, and I was unsure of what to saw back to him. I knew deep down it was hard for Axel to admit he liked me, just like it was hard for me to make the next move. I guess that's why he was making it into a funny situation, to reduce some of the strong emotions that could have overtaken him. Axel liked to believe he didn't feel emotions as deep as other people, which is why he never had long relationships or strong ties to one place or person. That just wasn't like him. I shifted and pulled myself up into a more comfortable sitting position on the couch as I struggled to decide what to saw back to him, and while I moved I accidentally hit the volume button on the remote. As the volume went up a few notches we both looked over at the TV, just now remembering it was still on. The only person on the screen was facing the camera and it seemed they were exasperatedly shouting directly at us.

" _Relationships are all about taking risks! That's why they call it jumping it!"_

I stared at the TV as I lowered the volume to normal, and then back at Axel who was looking back at me. Something in the back of my mind came to a sudden realization and I realized that this situation didn't call for words, but instead action.

With all hesitation and fear thrown out the window I leaned over towards Axel and he met me the rest of the way. The moment out lips met I felt like I was suddenly complete. Kissing Axel was unlike anything I had ever imagined; it was beyond incredible. I felt one of his hands fall on my back and pull me in a little closer to him and with shaking hands I ran my hand threw his red spikes, something I had wanted to do since the day I met him. We pulled away when the lack of oxygen became too much and I felt my heart racing, not from my panting to breath but from being so close to Axel, staring into his eyes that were right in front of mine. Then, he smiled that loveable smile of his and I couldn't help but smile back. He moved his hand off my back and onto my arm and pulled me over so my head was resting on his chest and I was lying nestled between him and the couch.

"I…have wanted to do that for so long." He breathed out in a shaky laugh. My hand curled up on his chest, clutching some of the fabric from his shirt with it. "And I promise," he whispered into my hair, "no more one-night stands or parading girls through here at all hours. If you're ok with it, you're the only one I really want, the only one I've ever wanted." I sighed happily and felt a tear roll down my cheek. I always got emotional at moments like these; I was such a softy sometimes.

"Axel, that's all I've ever wanted to hear."

Yay for love! Reviews would make me almost as happy as Axel makes Roxas!


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter is a doozy, becuase as we all know nothing is ever peaceful and blissful for too long. I re-wrote it about 20 million times but I liked how it turned out, hopefully you all do to! As always, thanks for the wonderful reviews! Enjoy and please review!

I awoke the next morning dazed and a bit confused on the couch. Alone. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I sat up and stretched, taking in a big whiff of…

Nothing.

Confused I turned around to see an empty kitchen, and empty hallway, and silence from everywhere else in the apartment. Glancing at the clock on the wall I saw it was 11:03, and I remembered it was Saturday, which led me to remember last night. I felt my self go red in the face remembering how I had fallen asleep on Axel after we had… oh goodness. It was weird though, remembering the kiss from last night, because everything felt so rushed, so unexpected my mind sort of blurred, but yet I remembered everything Axel said afterwards and I remembered every detail perfectly, which I was ok with. Except, where was Axel now? I got up sluggishly and walked around to the kitchen and glanced at the empty counters. No note, Axel's briefcase was gone, and I was left lonely and French toast-less. Well this sucked. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table.

An hour passed. I had finished my breakfast and started to work on some more of those papers for work and the clock read 12:13.

By 2:45 I had finished all my work, and it felt like my brain was going to leak out my ears from boredom, so I decided to go for a walk. I grabbed a coffee from a café a few blocks over and chanced a run in with my cousin. "Roxas!" His excited voice and those brunette spikes were all I needed to see and hear, even across a crowed coffee shop, to know it was Sora. I pushed my way over to where he was sitting at one of the only tables left open, and surprisingly alone.

"Hey Sora, where's Riku?"

"Oh I'm good too, thanks for asking!" He stuck his tongue out at me playfully as I sat down. I had figured by now Sora would be used to the fact that I liked to jump right to the point of things and not beat around the bush with him. Not that I was being a jerk or anything, it was just Sora had a tendency to get so caught up in hearing his own voice that by the time he'd finish talking I'd have forgotten what I wanted to say to him, but that was just my cousin for you. "But anyways, Riku's meeting me here. He had some stupid meeting for work that keeps getting scheduled for Saturdays."

"Oh yeah, Axel's there too." I always forgot Riku and Axel worked together, mainly because I normally didn't care or it just never crossed my mind. But it was nice to be able to see my cousin by himself for once. Again, it wasn't that I was a jerk and hated Riku, I actually thought he was a pretty cool guy and reminded me of Axel sometimes, but my cousin and him were _always_ glued to each other's hip, which could get third wheel-ish quicker than you'd think.

"I feel like Riku's been working so much overtime and everything lately, but I mean what are you going to do? I'm just thankful he's not getting transferred."

I choked a little on the sip of coffee I was drinking. "Transferred? Why would he think he was getting transferred?"

Sora looked at me with his bright blue eyes, confused. "Didn't Axel tell you? The company has a new branch developing in NYC and tons of people are getting transferred there for like 6 months to a year in some cases, or until they can hire more local people to take the positions. Can you believe that though? Riku always came home from work so frustrated and with 'a lot on his mind,' and when I asked him what was wrong he told me all about it. He's working really hard to stay here, and luckily his position is still needed so they most likely won't move him, but still it's kind of scary to think about. I couldn't imagine not seeing Riku for that long it would kill me! Roxas… are you ok?" I felt sick. I picked up my coffee as I started to stand up.

"I should be getting back, I've got a lot of papers to fill out for work." But Sora, in his weird way, could always see past my lies and could instantly figure out what was wrong with me.

"Axel didn't tell you, did he?" I slumped back into my chair, all of my energy suddenly zapped away.

"No." My voice came out quiet and shaky. How could Axel not tell me about this especially after last night? Realization suddenly hit me, and I knew my expression showed it because Sora's forehead furrowed in confusion.

"What? What's wrong?" And just like that, I snapped. In a hurried flurry of words I broke down and told Sora everything about what happened last night.

"God, I was such an idiot." Sora had his hand on my arm in consolation as I stared down into my coffee cup. "He said he had 'a lot on his mind,' and I really believed it was only about me. I should have realized that there was something else, that there was some underlying force that motivated him to tell me everything." I looked up at Sora who looked like he had just watched a puppy die. Sora, like myself, got a bit too emotionally invested in things, and was a big softy too.

"Roxas, you're not an idiot, and for all you know he might not be transferring anyways. Just go talk to him, and if things go bad, you can come stay with me, or at least call no matter what happens. I don't want to see you get hurt." His glance suddenly darted above my head and I knew it was my unspoken cue to leave. If Riku was here, that meant Axel would be home soon too. I said goodbye to the two as I got up and Riku took my spot in front of Sora who still looked a little crestfallen. I knew he would tell Riku everything, but at that moment I didn't care. All I needed was to go and find Axel and figure this whole mess out.

It was 3:57 by the time I got home and the apartment was still empty and silent. I took a seat at the counter and nursed my half finished coffee until Axel got home about twenty minutes later. I was facing the door when he came in, but even if I hadn't I still would have known he was thoroughly pissed. He dropped his briefcase with an empty and loud thud on the table and as he was taking off his coat he noticed me. There was no mistaking his face fell even more and he couldn't even make eye contact with me, and I feared the worst.

"Hey," I said quietly as he hung up his coat in the closet.

"Hey." His voice was flat and even, but also sad. After that though, I didn't know what to say, and I didn't get a chance to say anything else. Axel quickly walked past me into his room and shut the door. I sat stunned in the kitchen, staring at the paper that was crumpled and thrown on top of Axel's briefcase. It was almost like an out of body experience as I pushed myself out of the chair and walked towards the table. With shaking hands I picked the paper up off of his briefcase, not even caring that I was being nosy and invading his privacy. If the paper was what I thought it was, I figured I had a right to know. As my eyes skimmed down the paper I had laid down and smoothed out on the table, everything became too clear and too real. I stood there re-reading the words over and over again, trying to will them to change to something else, so that Axel wouldn't really go away, and I didn't even look up when Axel walked back into the kitchen and froze in front of the hallway. "Roxas." And suddenly, I was angry. I was normally never angry, especially not this much, but here I was fuming as I looked up at Axel.

"Are you happy now?" I spat out the words, holding back the tears of frustration I could feel starting to form.

Axel looked shocked. "What?"

"Well, are you? You knew you were leaving -or at least that there was a very big possibility of you leaving- and so you decided to not stop me when I kissed you and not tell me you were leaving, just so you could leave and not have to wonder what it was like, am I right?" My own bitterness surprised me, and I knew this wasn't fair to Axel, but it wasn't fair for me either.

"Roxas you're kidding me, right? I never wanted to hurt you it's just-"

"I don't want to hear any excuses because what happened happened, and now you're going to leave, and I'm going to be stuck here, all by myself." The anger evaporated from me, and all that was left was sadness, but not just any kind of sadness. The kind of sadness that is only there when you get your heart broken for the first time by someone you actually care about more than anything in the world. Axel walked over to me and reached out a hand to touch my arm but I unconsciously flinched away. "I've liked you for so long Axel, and you're not really an easy person to like when I have to watch and hear all those girls you've brought in here and then pretend the next day like nothing's wrong." Those stupid tears were blurring my vision, as I looked down at my feet, unable to even look at Axel as I spoke. "If we were ever in a relationship, I had never wanted to be just some one-night fling with you, I wanted something more, and when you told me all that last night I thought we were going to have something more." Bravely I raised my head and looked him in the eyes as I spoke my last few words. It was a bit unnerving to see a couple tears silently running down his cheeks when the rest of his face looked so composed, yet so heartbreakingly sad. "But I guess I was wrong."

"Roxas you're not wrong, I want that too." His voice cracked slightly when he spoke.

I moved past him and started for my room, and I stopped in front of my door but didn't turn around. I had my hand on my doorknob. I knew if I went inside now and shut my door, Axel and I would never have a chance, if I shut him off. No matter how much of me was hurt right now, no matter how much of me wished Axel had at least told me before this, I could never shut off Axel from my life. "And I know this isn't all your fault either." I turned back around and looked at him. "I know you didn't ask to leave, and you didn't plan for what happened last night to happen, but I guess I thought we were at least good enough friends for you to tell me something like that. I guess I was wrong about that too."

"No!" Axle snapped out of his frozen state after he processed what I was saying, which made me jump in surprise. "Roxas, don't ever say anything like that, first and foremost you're my best friend. Nothing will ever change that. But everything else, the 'us' factor, the kiss, I never did that or let that happen just because I wanted to see what it would be like and then leave! In all my wildest dreams I never imagined we'd ever get anywhere near some kind of more than friends relationship, but now that I've seen a glimpse of what that could be like, I don't want to lose it, especially over something as stupid as work!" He walked over to me again and put his hands on my shoulder and stooped down to my eye level as he told me this, and I didn't flinch away.

"Why did you let the kiss happen last night though, if you knew there was a possibility of you leaving so soon after?"

He sighed but never took his eyes off of mine. "I wanted you to know how I really felt about you in case I did leave, which I am." I saw pain and disappointment flash across his face. "I figured once I left, you may not forget about me as your best friend, but I figured somewhere down the road during the time I was gone you'd probably find someone who could love you and treat you better than I ever could. And as hard as it is to say goodbye, I just wanted to see if there could be something more when I got back. I know it's horribly selfish, but I didn't want to lose you, even if I had never really had you." I felt the tears welling up. Damn you Axel and your sensitive side. "I never EVER wanted to hurt you, and I wished now more than anything I had told you I might be leaving sooner, but I can't change the past. I'll change though, if it means we have a chance for anything."

"It's ok." I mumbled out and Axel whipped one of the tears off my cheek away with his thumb. "I don't want you to change. Nothing in life you really want is ever simple to get, right? Let's just count this as our first fight and move on." I smiled the best I could and he smiled back. "I want the last couple days we spend together to be happy, so you'll want to come back."

He laughed and that I felt my whole body tingle with happiness and warmth. "I'll always want to come back Roxas, don't worry. And in the meantime, I'll call you and text you and write you as much as I can. Heck, I'll probably get so annoying you won't even notice I'm gone!" I laughed and he pulled me in for a gentle, simple hug.

"I wouldn't mind that." I felt him kiss the top of my head lightly and then pull away and make his way into the kitchen.

"Come on, I never made you French toast this morning, and I'll show you how to make it yourself. I know you couldn't last for long without a weekly dose of my breakfast magic." I whipped the remaining tears from my eyes as I smiled and followed him into the kitchen. I had always told myself any relationship with Axel wouldn't be easy because of all the things that had happened in his life, and it was like a roller coaster ride of emotions and we weren't even 24 hours in. But for some reason, I didn't mind this ride. I never actually want to get off.


	5. Chapter 5

So after writing that last chapter I was motivated so much I wrote the next one! I just couldn't bear to leave everything so sad, and this chapter seemed to write itself. Enjoy and please review! I love love love your feedback!

Once Axel left, I learned I had a compulsive urge to clean everything in our apartment every time I thought of him. Let's call it creative coping. It was now five weeks since Axel had left, and for now I seemed to be making it through in one piece. Rooting through our hall closet, which seemed empty without Axel's coats shoved in along with mine, I found an extremely ugly Christmas sweater from about three years ago, one left shoe, a family of dust bunnies living in the corner, and an book hidden by a fallen coat. I threw the other stuff into a pile I would get to later (save the dust bunnies of course) and curiously picked up the book and placed it on my lap. I recognized the book to be the photo album Axel had gotten when we first moved in here, claiming he bought it so he could show his children why saving money is important, or they'd be stuck living in a place like ours. Truth be told, our apartment had come quite along ways since we moved in a little over a year ago. When we started renting the place, we were told we could paint the walls and re-do the carpets as long as we paid for it ourselves, but we couldn't do much more than that. We were lucky though, since our apartment looked like the 70's threw up on everything except for the kitchen, which was fairly modernized. Whoever though bright yellow-green carpet matched with tacky orange and red walls was seriously disturbed.

I flipped open the photo album to see the cover page. It was just one picture tapped on crooked of Axel and me. We were standing in our doorway in old t-shirts and shorts with white paint splattered on them and our faces. I had a rolled in one hand and had been smiling until Axel decided it would be funny to paint the side of my face with his brush the moment the camera timer went off and took the picture. My face was caught on film with my mouth wide open as I was yelling at Axel to stop with a smile not yet fading from the rest of my face. Axel, being Axel, was laughing with his head thrown back and his red hair, longer than he wore it now, spiked out in all directions behind him, his one hand devilishly streaking a white paintbrush up the side of my face. I laughed under my breath as I flipped through page after page of pictures. Most were from the renovations we did, when Axel was obsessed with taking pictures, and were of me.

There were some pictures of me smiling and looking at the camera with paint can and brush in hand, and some of candid shots I never knew Axel was taking. Some shots were with the both of us after Axel had learned how to use the timer on his camera, but the best ones to me were when one of us was doing something stupid or sneezing just as the flash went off. I was allergic to everything, so too many for my liking timer pictures showed me sneezing dramatically or coughing up a lung as I tried to get out of the range of the camera. I smiled as I flipped through more pictures, and in a way I felt like I was walking through all my memories. I saw the apartment being finished; the day Axel bought his new car; the seemingly indestructible bamboo plant we had managed to kill in the matter of two weeks; the trip we went on with a group of friends to the beach one summer. Everything that had at least a little significance from the first seven months or so we lived here until Axel had grown out of his photo phase was captured in film and tucked away inside this photo album.

Cleaning never felt so rewarding to me. As I flipped to the last page of photos, my stomach grumbled loudly. I laughed at myself and after putting the album on the bookshelf in my room I walked into the kitchen. It was just another quiet Saturday morning for me, and I knew exactally what I was going to make.

French toast was a lot harder to make that Axel made it out to be. The first piece I burned, the second piece I undercooked, and the third, well, I'm still not really sure how I managed to blacken the outside and under cook the inside, but by my fourth through sixth pieces I figured I had gotten it down pretty well. I drowned the survivors from my French toast massacre with a hearty amount of syrup and sat down at the table for breakfast. Sure, I probably didn't have a career in making French toast, but it wasn't all that bad. While shoveling large bits of my breakfast into my mouth I opened up my laptop and went to check my e-mail. As I had predicted, **(1) New Message!** flashed as I opened up my inbox.

_Rox,_

_I don't have much time to write this e-mail since I'm running late, but I wanted you to know I did get your last e-mail. Only you could almost burn down our apartment while making popcorn, and I know you're on a compulsive cleaning streak, but please don't clean my room. I don't want you to risk your health so you can organize my closet. I'll catch up on everything that's going on with you soon, and as usual everything is dull as ever at work. I have incredibly good news, but I can't put it in writing. Just promise you'll be home at around 4:30, since there's going to be a surprise waiting for you in the mail. Oh, and call me at four thirty too, I want to hear your reaction. :]_

_Like always, I miss you and I can't wait to be home for good._

_-Axel _

Oh Axel, I though as I smiled and shut my laptop. What kind of surprise could Axel have in store for me? The more I though about it, the more I wanted to go organize my sock drawer. I hovered up the rest of my breakfast, and after I washed the dishes to the point where I could see my reflection in them and put them away, I headed for my bedroom.

I never thought 4:30 was going to come as I stared up at the clock, my phone in my hand, as the digital clock defiantly blazed 4:23. Gosh, this was going to take forever. I was too excited and giddy to clean anything else, so I sat there, my leg bouncing from anticipation as the seconds ticked by.

4:24

4:25

4:26

4:27

4:28

4:29, so close.

4:30.

I shot open my phone with more excitement than I had thought I could. Axel was speed dial number three, and I tapped my foot rapidly on the rung of my chair as I waited for him to pick up. When he answered, he was laughing.

"Wow. I'm impressed. Exactally 4:30, not a minute late."

"I'm always very punctual." Axel laughed again, knowing this was a very big lie. "But anyways, why did you get me a surprise today?"

"I dunno, it's Saturday, that's always a reason to be happy. Oh, and it should be there by now, so go check, but don't hang up yet." I bounced up from my seat and nearly ran to the door, thankful Axel couldn't see me.

Or so I had thought.

I threw open the door with more force than usual and nearly ran straight into someone's chest. Surprised, I looked up to see that goofy red head beaming down at me. "Hey Roxas." His voice echoed in my ear from the phone, and for a moment I was left speechless. "Happy Saturday." I dropped my phone with a small _clink_ as it hit the ground and threw myself forward at Axel, hugging him as tight as I could. He laughed, and in person it was like the most beautiful music in the world.

"Axel, what are- why are- how?" I stumbled over my words as I pulled away and we walked into the apartment and Axel followed pulling a small suitcase.

"Well, it wasn't easy, but I convinced my new boss to let me take off a few days since I had some vacation days saved up and well, here I am! Here to stay for the next three days." Part of my brain was still in shock as I stood there, my mouth hung open a little, as I tried to wrap my brain around the fact that Axel was really freaking here. He laughed at me again and leaned forward so he was looking me in the eyes, and with one hand pushed my chin up and closed my mouth. "Careful, you might start attracting flies." Gently he pressed his lips against mine and let them linger for a moment before pulling away, and that snapped me back into reality.

"Your right, but now I seem to be attracting crazy spontaneous red-heads." I smiled and leaned in for another gentle, sweet, and short kiss. "But you know," I said as we parted again and Axel's famous smile was stretched out across his face. "I guess I don't really mind that, too much."

*Sighs* I'm not really good at leaving things sad for too long. Call it a weakness, but I don't think Axel and Roxas mind all that much._ :]_


	6. Chapter 6

_Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I had a serious case of writers block, which is all gone for the most part now! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you guys are so awesome! Hope you all enjoy this new chapter and please review! _

Even when Axel was sitting across from me the next morning eating a bowl of cereal my brain had trouble processing that he was really here. I couldn't remember what we were talking about, but it didn't seem to matter seeing as Axel just kept on talking as he shoveled cheerios into his mouth. I felt a smile start to form and then slowly grow bigger and bigger, as if my smile was a flower and Axel's presence was the light I needed to survive and flourish.

"Roxas? Roxas why are you smiling like that? Are you even listening to me anymore?" I snapped back to reality to find Axel smirking at me. "Earth to Roxas."

"Sorry, I just zoned out for a minute." He kept on smirking at me, and I could tell the gears in his brain were thinking about something.

"What were you thinking about?" I felt my cheeks warm slightly. It was comforting in away that Axel still made me feel embarrassed and giddy even though I hadn't seen him in a while. The newness and exciting feeling of our relationship had yet to wear off, mainly because we hadn't been physically together for too long before Axel had moved. "Come on, I want the truth. What was so interesting that it distracted you form listening to me wonderfully entertaining stories about New York City?"

My leg bounced in nervousness. The truth was kind of embarrassing, even if we were dating. "W-well, I was thinking about you." My voice was shaky and a little over a whisper, but when Axel's face lit up and his smirk turned into that famous toothy smile my nervousness and embarrassment fled me.

"Good things I hope?" I smiled and nodded and he looked pleased. "What specifically about me is so interesting?" He leaned in a little as he ate another spoonful of cheerios and watched me like I was the most interesting thing on the planet right now.

"Everything, I guess."

"You guess? No, that doesn't cut it for me; I'm talking specifics here. My ego needs to be inflated a little." I laughed at him. What a goof he could be sometimes.

"I'm pretty sure it's big enough, but I'll amuse you. You're eyes are what are the most interesting to me, that or your hair, or maybe both. It's hard to figure out sometimes." He smiled proudly as he leaned across the table until our noses were touching. I felt my face grow warm as he leaned in closer and closer until his lips ghosted over mine.

"Know what interests me the most about you, Rox?" I swallowed and tried to lean in a little to close the gap between us, but Axel was clever. As I leaned in he leaned away, until we were both leaning halfway across the table; Axel's bowl of cereal pushed to the side and left forgotten.

"What?" My cheeks darkened as his breath fanned out against my lips.

"How blue your eyes are. They're like two little oceans, and even though I hate water, I wouldn't mind drowning in them."

"You are so corny." I muttered as I leaned forward again and Axel refrained from pulling away. His lips were so soft and gentle against mine, and the hand that was gently resting on my cheek made me feel like I could stay like this forever.

My stomach suddenly growled loudly and I felt Axel smile and laugh into the kiss, and the feeling of him laughing while touching me made me internally melt. I laughed too and turned away. Slyly I managed to grab Axel's bowl of cheerios as I sat myself back down in my seat on the proper side of the table. I took a spoonful as Axel sat watching me, his arms crossed across his chest as he leaned his chair back on two legs as a coy, plotting smile spread out across his face.

"I just decided something, well two things if you count the fact that I'm going to steal my breakfast back." I barely had time to react as Axel's hand shot out and took the bowl away from me. I pretended to pout, but it just made him laugh loudly, so with a huff I mimicked his previous sitting position and as I crossed my arms across my chest I looked him in the eye.

"And what's the second thing?"

"We're going out tonight." My shoulders fell slack and I groaned. Axel's idea of 'going out' wasn't anywhere near a romantic date setting, and I knew that all too well. Axel's version of 'going out' meant bars, booze, and music so loud it broke a few sound barriers. But, for some reason, whether it be the fact that I was still a little high off our kiss, I was just thrilled to be with Axel, or I had lost my mind completely, I shrugged.

"Sure, let's go out tonight."

"Why did I agree to this?" I muttered as I weaved in and out of people dancing in the middle of the club until I finally reached the bar and took one of the last remaining stools. I scanned the crowd for familiar red hair as the bartender left after I shouted my order to him over the music, but I couldn't see much through the flashing lights and the wall of people in front me. If I was stuck here, I didn't want to have to suffer through it completely sober.

Half way through my first drink, after telling three different people trying to get me to dance, two guys and a girl, to piss off, I heard Axel's laugh. It was louder than normal, which meant he either thought something was really funny or was bordering on wasted. When I looked around and finally saw him, drink sloshing haphazardly in his hand and two girls standing too close for my comfort next to him, I was pretty sure it was the second option. I hauled myself up out of my seat after laying a few bucks down next to my drink and proceeded to drag my very drunk boyfriend away.

"W-wait Rox where are we goinggggg!" I sighed and took his hand, not daring to lose him in the crowd of people in his state.

"Axel," I called out over the music and people, "you're wasted, and it's time to go home."

"Hey! I'm not _that_ drunk." His words were already slurred together.

"Yeah I bet you're not, come on let's go." I felt his hand slide out of mine and grab on to my wrist, and with a tug I found myself turned around to face Axel and pulled straight into him. I looked up sheepishly, and tried to move backwards but the people around us only pushed us closer together. I was thankful for once Axel was drunk, and it was dark, because my face felt so flushed I could only imagine how red I looked. He hand on my wrist snaked down around my waist and hugged me tighter to him; our hips flush against each other and my hand that had found its way to Axel's chest was plastered in between us. The hand on my hip was the only thing it felt like to me that was preventing me from melting into a puddle on the floor, and I could swear he could hear my heart racing as he bent down to whisper into my ear.

"Why the hurry to get home, Roxas?" My hands started to shake the moment my name was purred from his lips. "You're not thinking of taking advantage of little old me just because I'm a little tipsy, are you?" Even though I couldn't see him smile, I knew it was covering his whole face as he kissed the junction between my ear and my neck and started slowly making his way down my neck.

Oh this was just great. Not only did I have a drunk Axel on my hands, I had a horny one too. Just great. The moment I regained my composure and could move again I pushed him away with the hand on his chest, which was difficult since he didn't want to stop kissing my neck and he was twice the size of me, but I managed. "Keep it in your pants Casanova." I shouted above the music as I continued to drag him towards the exit.

The cool night air that hit my face the moment I stepped out of the door cleared my mind. I could think again, which was a good thing seeing as Axel proceeded to drape his arm over my shoulder making me nearly fall over from the extra weight. He was laughing, but laughing for no good reason, as his other hand played with my hair. I stood trying to contemplate how we were going to walk the few blocks to our apartment. I was not going to spend twenty bucks on a cab just because Axel felt the need to get wasted.

Suddenly, I felt Axel fall against me passed out, and his dead weight made me stagger and almost topple to the concrete below. Axel was not fat, far from it with his tall and wiry frame, but I was short and weak, and starting to panic. How was I going to get him home? "Need some help?" I looked over surprised to see a flash of blonde hair on the other side of Axel and then half of the dead weight lifted off of me. I looked around Axel's slumped over head to see a girl around my age. She was straight blond hair that fell on her shoulders, a short but thin frame, and bright blue eyes.

"Hey, yeah actually. Thanks, my friend just passed out on me." The girl seemed oddly familiar, especially her voice.

She smiled as she stood up straighter and made sure Axel's other arm was securely around her shoulders. "That sounds like Axel alright. Which way to your apartment?" Inwardly I groaned. This girl was blonde, knew we lived in an apartment, and knew Axel tended to over drink, which I assumed meant she had once been a Friday night visitor.

"A few blocks this way, but you don't have to walk all that way. It's not your fault I can't get my friend to cut back on the alcohol." She laughed and shook her head as we started walking, with some difficulty because of Axel who was now mumbling something in his sleep.

"I don't mind, really. My name's Naminé by the way, what's yours?" Oh, now I knew why she seemed familiar. She had been the trigger that, once pulled, had ended up pushing Axel and I closer together.

"I wish we could be meeting on more…normal terms, but it's still nice to meet you. My name's Roxas." She faltered in her walking for a moment, but recovered so quickly I wasn't sure if it was because of my name or because of having to half carry Axel. We walked for a moment in silence, crossing the street with a little difficulty; only two more blocks to go.

"So you're the famous Roxas." She spoke quietly, so for a moment I thought I had made it up, but then she looked over at me with a knowing smile. "I heard about you once from Axel."

"Yeah, I remember that night. I was awake." I saw her blush even in the dark as she turned to avoid my gaze and I felt bad. "Sorry, I just meant I remember what you said to him, and thanks." I mumbled the last part, and silence took over again as we cross another street. My arms were killing me, and I would make Axel pay for this tomorrow if his hangover wasn't bad enough. "If you hadn't told him all that stuff and left, he wouldn't have come into my room when he thought I was sleeping and tell me how he really felt about me. In a way, you helped bring us together." I smiled over at her and he blush faded, but her cheeks were still a bit pink under the streetlights. Then again, maybe she was just exhausted from hauling Axel along.

"Well, in a way it was my pleasure I guess."

Half an hour later I was home. I thanked Naminé for all her help and we decided to meet up for coffee sometime soon, so I make it up to her for her help with Axel.

At the thought of Axel I walked down the hallway to the redhead's room to see him strewn out his bed where Naminé and I had left him. I stood in his doorway watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he slept soundly, making sure he wasn't going to die. Since I was worried about how drunk he had been and that he was lying on his back I slowly walked across the room to his bed and rolled him over onto his side. "Goodnight, Axel." I whispered as I leaned across the bed and kissed his lightly on the cheek, one hand on his arm and my other hand combed gently through his red hair. I started to lean back and head to my room when I felt a hand gently hold onto my arm.

Axel's eyes were closed, and I could tell by the way his face was scrunched up he was dreaming. "Roxas…don't…leave me." I sat down quietly on the bed, his hand still on my arm. I knew he was dreaming, but in his sleep he looked so fragile and innocent and I couldn't look away. I tried to move again but his grip tightened on my arm and I felt myself pulled onto the bed and over to him. Another jerk of my arm away and another pull dragging me closer, and I knew this was a lost cause. Even asleep Axel was stronger than me, and a sleeping Axel couldn't be reasoned with. I pulled my legs up onto the bed and scooted closer, my head so close to Axel's I could feel his breath on my face. His hand on my arm was the only thing touching me, because I was too nervous to get any closer to him.

For a long time, sleep evaded me. How could I sleep with Axel lying beside me, his face so calm and peaceful all I wanted to do was look at him? Even without his bright and captivating green eyes he was still so handsome, it was almost painful to look away. Absentmindedly I slowly raised my free hand and reached over, taking a strand of red hair and pushing it behind his ear and out of his face. Axel sighed contentedly and unconsciously pulled me closer to him so my head rested off the pillow and now on his shoulder, my arm pulled against his chest in a way that made it look like he was trying to protect me and keep me by him. I wondered what he was dreaming about.

My eyes eventually fell shut, and sleep overcame me. Even in the darkness of my mind as I slept, Axel's face was everywhere. He filled my dreams and I saw him laughing with me at breakfast, kissing my neck in the club, and sleeping next to me, pulling me closer and closer to him as he dreamed about me.

_I love fluff, if you haven't noticed by now. :] Please review!_


	7. Chapter 7

I'm back! Sorry for the ridiculously long time between updates, but hopefully the next update will not take nearly as long. P.S. this chapter is in Axel's POV, just to mix thing up a little :]

I was woken up the next morning when a sliver of sunlight managed to sneak in through the window and landed inconveniently on my face. Directly on my eyes, to be exact. I used my hand to block the light as I groggily opened my eyes and glanced at the clock.

5:57

Damn sun, it was too early to be woken up. I turned onto my other side away from the sun and jumped in surprise when I realized I was tangled up in another person. For a moment I panicked. My head throbbed, which meant I had a hangover, which meant I had gone to a bar last night, which meant… oh dear god. Softly, so I wouldn't wake said person up, I pushed them away just enough so I could get a good look at them.

I sighed in relief as I saw spiky short blond hair. _Roxas…_ I thought as a smile spread out over my face. But wait, what was Roxas doing in my bed? I panicked again, but only for a split second as I looked over the both of us to see we were both fully clothed. A wave of relief and happiness spread over me as I pulled my little blond closer to me. He shifted in his sleep and murmured something I couldn't hear.

As I studied his face, illuminated by the light coming in through my window, it was almost too much to take in. He was just…there was no word to describe just how beautiful and innocent and…and perfect he looked. Temptation over took me and I leaned in and closed the gap between our lips. When I pulled away after a few blissful moments I watched as his eyes fluttered open to reveal that beautiful blue I had come to adore. He seemed confused for a moment, and I watched his face as he started to remember where he was and who he was with, and then he smiled.

"Morning." He yawned quietly and lightly blushed.

"Morning sunshine." I replied, neither of us moving out of the bed. "So, how did you end up in here?" I teased quietly, and he softly laughed.

"You, dummy. After Naminé and I dragged your drunk butt back here-"

"What? How did you meet Naminé?" I asked, my brow furrowing in confusion. I remembered her from a while ago, her name at least. She'd been a feisty one.

"That's not the point. The point is you got so drunk you couldn't even walk home." I cringed and gave him an apologetic look, but he continued. "Anyways, we got you in bed, and after I came in to check to make sure you weren't dead, you refused to let me leave." He smirked. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

My eyes widened a bit. "Really? What did I say?"

His smirked grew wider into a toothy grin. "Roxas…don't…leave me." Roxas moaned out. "And then maybe something along the lines of 'Roxas is the most amazing guy I've ever seen.'" I felt a sly smile spread out over my face.

"Really now." As I spoke I sprang up from my comfortable position next to Roxas and rolled over on top of him, supporting myself on my knees and elbows as I leaned down towards his face, our eyes locked. My red hair hung down past my face, and I held back a laugh as I saw Roxas make a face as the long strands tickled his cheeks. I leaned closer towards Roxas, my lips hovering above his ear. "What else did I say?"

I felt and saw him shiver beneath me, and I smirked as I leaned in and kissed the junction between his ear and his neck. "W-well, I d-didn't hear anything else." I tilted my head and started planting slow, soft kisses along his jaw. I heard him try and fail to suppress a quiet moan, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Are you sure?" I moved, kissing down his neck, and my hand brushed lightly against his arm.

"Y-Yup!" He squeaked, and one moment I was kissing his neck, and the next I was alone in my bed. As tiny as he was, Roxas had snuck out from beneath me, and stood beside my bed, slightly panting and his adorable face was beet red. I couldn't help but smile even wider as I rolled onto my side facing him. "Well, I guess, um, I'll just… go make breakfast!"

At the sudden mention of food, my stomach did a flip and I felt a wave of nausea. My hangover was back in action.

Half and hour later I emerged from my room, my headache throbbing but a little dulled, and my stomach, now emptied, was still a little off. As I flopped down, feeling gross, at the kitchen table, Roxas had already paced a mug of black coffee in front of me and kept food out of my sight. This was tradition for us, the unspoken exchange of coffee and grateful looks. Except, this time I noticed a change in Roxas. He looked, somewhat more…sincere in his apathetic looks. I figured it was because this time I hadn't had a one-night stand along with my hangover.

We laid low the rest of the day, watched some movie after I didn't feel like my head was going to explode, and ordered Chinese food.

It wasn't till dark when I started to feel bad about wasting one of our precious days together, but I had an idea on how to fix it. Luckily it was a clear night too.

"Roxas, hey, hey Roxas wake up." I gently shook awake the blond who had fallen asleep on my shoulder. He mumbled and groggily sat up, rubbing his eyes and looking at me with a confused look. "I have a surprise for you, come on." I took hold of his hand and pulled him towards the door. Since it was winter, and bitter cold, I fished out our jackets, two hats and two scarves from the closet and bundled myself up and helped Roxas pull on his winter gear.

"Ax, what are we doing?" He tentatively asked me as we walked out the door and down the hallway. When I didn't answer, he kept calling out my name until I assured him I knew what I was doing, and that he just needed to be patient. Roxas let out an impatient sigh but I just smiled. We were at our first stop anyways. "We're going to the roof?" I nodded and opened the door, dragging him along until we stepped out onto the rooftop of our apartment building. For me, this was familiar territory, sitting out on a clear night under the stars, but as Roxas's expression revealed he was nowhere near as familiar.

We lived in a quiet neighborhood with shops that closed early, and luckily tonight being Monday everything was fairly dark and quiet. A perfect night, if I did say so myself, for whisking my dear Roxas up onto the roof and showing him my secret hideaway.

I couldn't get enough of Roxas's face as he stood beside me in awe, staring up at the night sky. I really need to get him out of the apartment more, I thought in my head.

"Wow Axel, this is…wow." I shook my head as I let out a low laugh and led him over to the ledge. Carefully I swung my legs over the side and sat down, patting the concrete beside me as Roxas hesitated.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't fall." I flashed him a confident and toothy smile, and his hesitation melted in a soft smile as he sat down beside me. We sat like that for a while, in silence and admiration for the beautiful night. After a while I felt Roxas shiver beside me and I wrapped my arm around him, pressing him up against me. "Don't tell me you're cold already Rox." I teased.

"N-no I'm f-fine." He stuttered out, and I rolled my eyes at his obvious bluff, and hugged him tighter.

"Just a few more minutes. It should start any minute now, since it's the perfect night for them." I assured him as I cast my gaze around the sky.

"W-what, is there like a m-meteor s-shower or something tonight?" I shook my head as he looked up at me, and then past me towards the sky.

"No, something even better. It's, oh wait look! See, I told you it was a perfect night for them!" I saw Roxas open his mouth to question me, but as I saw his gaze more towards the sky, I knew his question was answered.

Although they weren't as bright as they would be if we were farther north, a still breathtaking ribbon of green light started to form across the night sky. It twisted and flowed, growing a bit brighter and more vibrant as time passed, almost as if it was alive.

Although the winters sucked living up in northern New York, the bright side was the fact that when the sky was finally clear from clouds and it was a new moon, the northern lights had a habit of making an appearance. The green light danced across the sky, and in certain spots vibrant strands of blue intertwined themselves with the green. Although I had seen these lights before, they still took my breath away every time. And Roxas, well, he was having the time of his life.

"Wow, Axel, look at them! They're incredible! The colors are just so, wow, and the way it's moving across the sky!" He babbled on for a while, and I couldn't help but think of how even though he was in his twenties, it was so easy for him to act like a teenager again. "You know, they kind of look like us."

I snapped back to focusing. "What?"

"You know, the colors and everything. I mean there's the bright green, like your eyes, and the little strands of blue, for my eyes." He laughed. "Wow, I kind of sound like a girl, don't I? Pointing out silly romantic things like that."

I couldn't help but laugh along with him, but the more I looked at the sky the more I saw his point, even if it was kind of silly. "I see what you mean though, it's kind of cool." He looked up at me with an unreadable look. "It's like the very heavens above are pleased with our relationship!" I spoke dramatically, even raising my hand and grandly gesturing towards the sky, making Roxas laugh at me.

"I love you Axel."

Cue awkward silence.

"O-oh wait, I didn't mean it like…" Roxas scrambled for words as he trailed off, but as I watched him I couldn't help but think how cute he looked when he was flustered.

"Hey, hey it's ok." I quietly shushed him, and I looked down to find him looking up at me with a sort of expectant look on his face, as though he was waiting to see what my real reaction was. "I'm not really sure how you meant to say that, and I don't care." I saw his face fall a little. "Wait, wait, that came out wrong. I mean, I do care, a lot, and if that's the way you feel about me I can't stop you. Actually, I'm extremely flattered." He blushed, and cast his eyes downward. "Hey, listen." With my free arm I reached over and took his chin in my hand and directed it so he was looking at me again. Now suddenly I was the one who felt flustered, as my mind scrambled to find the right words. "Listen Roxas, I like and care about you so much. More, sometimes, than I can even wrap my brain around. But I guess, I'm just not completely ready to say that back yet. It doesn't mean I don't care about you though, or that I think this relationship is just some kind of joke, because it's not. It's important to me, and I don't want to rush things too fast in the beginning because…well, I want this to last for a long time." In the starlight his smiling face nearly took my breath away, and I tried to resist the urge to lean in and close the gap between our lips.

"Thanks, Axel." He whispered, gently raising his hand and holding onto my hand still resting on his chin. "You always know the perfect thing to say to make everything better." This time, Roxas leaned up and pressed his lips against mine, and all I could do was let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding and let my eyes close.

When our kiss ended, I finally decided it was time to get Roxas back inside and into the warmth. He argued with me as I held the door open to our apartment, claiming he wasn't really all that cold. Of course, the fact that his hands were shaking and his lips were starting to turn purple hinted to me that he was fibbing.

I hung up our jackets and started to guide him towards his room, but in the doorway to his room he hesitated and turned around. "Hey, Axel, can I ask something?"

I gave him a weird look. "Well, of course, what is it?" His face flushed a little, but I watched him as his confidence built.

"Can I maybe, sleep with you?" I couldn't help but stand shocked for a moment, staring at my blonde. "N-not like that!" He suddenly blurted out, his face flushing completely. God, that was just too adorable. "I mean, like last night, since it's your last night before you have to go back to work. It'd be just sleeping." He mumbled, and I couldn't help but laugh as his cuteness.

"Yeah, sure. Of course." I left him to change into pajamas as I ventured into my own room. Normally, I just slept in boxers, but I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, so I pulled on a pair of sweatpants buried in my dresser and pealed my shirt off. As I turned towards my bed I caught a glimpse of myself in my mirror, and I shot myself a cocky grin. "Looking sexy." I told my reflection and turned completely towards my bed to see a highly amused Roxas standing there. He had his hand over his mouth, trying to stifle his laugh, and I felt my face flush. "Hey, haven't you heard of knocking?" I accused as I climbed into my bed and pulled the sheets up for Roxas. He just climbed in and snuggled up next to me, his petite frame clad in a black t-shirt and dark blue sweatpants. I shivered a little as his cold hands grazed over my exposed chest, and he mumbled an embarrassed apology. "It's not your fault." I replied, pressing a tiny kiss against his forehead as my hands wrapped around his frame, his head buried in my chest.

"Thanks for tonight Axel. It was incredible." He whispered, and his breath fanning across my chest made me shiver, but this time not from the cold.

"You're more than welcome." I planted a kiss in the mass of golden spikes, and let myself linger there, drinking in the scent of him for one more night before I had to leave.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Roxas." He sighed, and I could almost feel him smiling.

He let out a sigh and sleepily mumbled out, "I love you Ax." Before I even had a chance to respond, which I think he had been aiming for, he was sound asleep. I focused on the rise and fall of his chest and calmed my breathing until it matched his, our breathing synchronized as though we were one being.

"I think maybe, I love you too…Roxas. I think I really do."

A/N: Geeee this chapter made me sooo happy; it was just super exciting to write! Oh, and in case you were wondering, seeing the northern lights in New York is actually not super unrealistic, and my friend has seen them a few times. Unfortunately, I have yet to see them for myself, which bums me out because I even went to Alaska and didn't see any :[ Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter and please review!


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